what's up everybody welcome back to the Doctor V podcast I'm your host Jessie Verga today I have an amazing guest and a long time friend Jabrian Johnson formerly known as CS one he was an amazing friend to me he still is I met him when we were both in the Navy we became you know good friends but what really what really stuck with me is his natural leadership abilities he has transitioned out of the Navy and today we're gonna be talking about that transition his a little bit about his business ventures and a little bit about his reconnection with god which I think is extremely important in terms of spiritual wellness and spiritual journeys so without further ado let's get into this interview with Jibrian yes so um Brian origin Brian are the one um from Dallas Texas born and raised I'm grew up Pleasant Grove if anyone in Texas Dallas knows about Pleasant Grove it's a great place it's not much pleasantries but it's a great place and it's where I got my my start my drive run up there in Texas and my mom being um a single mother and driving and just being all things amazing that's how and who I am today she helped birth that in more ways and more um then I joined the Navy around 2,010 um I which is a funny story because I originally dipped it and I almost didn't go then my mom was like even though she was against me joining the military anyway she was like no you gotta go now like just six months ago you didn't want me to go anyway but um within the age of 13 years got out last June June 30th, 2023 and I'm still living in San Diego about a place here so I'm doing life in San Diego now miss home a little bit but it's more but I need to need it to um step out of my own without the fear of not succeeding without having a real blueprint as to what or how to do life outside of the military so I decided to take the risk or the chance more so calculator risk in San San Diego yeah I thought that was really interesting because I met you in the Navy I was broken I remember um we were you were stationed at Naval Base San Diego and I met you kind of like on base duty and yeah we were always it was always colors for us we were always hosting that flag up bringing that flag down but every duty day but yeah I was curious as to I know that there were some interesting things that happened we don't have to go into too much detail but what was it like leaving the Navy after 13 years um leaving was leaving wasn't the hard part um for me what was hard was the expectation that I felt was being placed on me when I was talking to people about me getting out um knowing how I am in the military how I was in the military always go get her grinding doing these things everybody would tell me oh we know you're gonna be great outside because your this your dad and all of these different things I'm like what is it that you all see cause maybe it's in me but I don't see it nor feel it so it was like how do I tangibly grab this thing or these things that they see to be successful so I place the unrealistic expectation on myself within a year I will be here I would do this and I would have this um and it's not right it's it it it could be right even with the plan there are different variables that may come into play that could affect or stop or make you drop the ball um and it's like it's more about continuing though so the hardest part for me was um now that I'm out how do I live that to my own expectation and not the expectation that I felt was being placed on me rather it been people placing on me or me accepting that uh expectation because it becomes a burden cause I was for 13 years of my life I knew what I need to do in the morning and afternoon how to leave how to help people grow um but for myself I wasn't really doing so now I'm in the space of I'm out there's no one else but me and I need to make sure that I am growing I'm moving forward those same uh things that I was doing and put into people now I have to put into myself and that's the scary part cause when it's you I mean there's is you can win or lose you can you can fail or you can keep going but failure is not a bad thing and that's I wanna break them and not me of what failure looks like cause failure is also growth no I agree and I I do I kind of get that obviously I wasn't in as long as you were but I know that when I finally decided to get out there was this this bar that was set by everyone else but me and it um yeah getting out is always real it's different for everybody for sure but it um it can be somewhat stressful I just I remember CS one you were just I mean I think I met you at like CS three maybe I don't I don't know three yeah I met you kind of like earlier on in my career in the Navy I had like just gotten to San Diego but yeah I just you were always a phenomenal leader and I don't think it was because of the military structure I think it was just because of who you were I just I had Master Chief Nation on last week and there's just this like inherent quality and good people that make them better leaders like there's good leaders but then there's like legitimate real leaders and I could see the way your junior sailors interacted with you and how if they made rank or did anything good it was just they were so proud of themselves but they love to like come to you and be like look at what I did and having that like that pride you can see how proud you were of their successes and of their failures as learning experiences so that's um yeah sorry just little little feel there a part of the reason some people in leadership didn't like me because they didn't have those connections with their people and for me it's I always live with uh my own experiences as well a lot of times people in the military or people in life I want to just generalize it to military because it's a people thing and I necessarily just a military thing but people don't like to show that they have stumbled they fail they've messed up in some kind of way um with my sailors they saw the good and the bad and how I overcame those bad things by expressing it I believe that a lot of the things that happen to people in the military in life can be avoided if we share more of our stories and the the things the repercussions and things that came with it so my sailor saw that and I was able to be approached if I was doing something wrong they can approach me within a respectful way the way I'm approaching them now other people wanted that and didn't like that so it was seen as well how is he so happy with a sailor there so happy with him I'm like because we have a level of understanding like there is maybe yes but we're also human beings with people we're gonna mess up it's a chastising me to an extent or or you know discipline me to an extent my mom did it but I know she did it out of love and it's more of how you do it and how it's delivered how it's received um we have to remember that we're all your people we mess up as well not a lot of people like that no it's and it's I think in terms of leadership in the military I think kind of looking back you can see that if it wasn't for leaders like you if it wasn't for those random just little bits of hope that I think that their attention would be tanked if it wasn't for the fact that there were just some quality leaders that brought in characteristics with them when they joined and then just kind of grew from there but um so what are you what are you up to now um you're in the same spot in San Diego I'm assuming right so like how's that been like how's how's life after service uh life at the service is still a even a year a year seems well in my mind seemed like a long time but it's not really and it's going by quick um I am in a better place than I was when I first got out um not knowing anything um originally it was you know I'm gonna go to school and just do school and figure out you know what I want to do I gave myself like two months of not just traveling doing things that we couldn't just up and one day just do in the military you know got to put in a request to go on leave to to be an adult now being a civilian you're an actual adult I I said it to my dad cause he was part of the military as well and I'm like he's like what do you mean like when you're in the military I don't care how old you are somebody is telling you what you can and cannot do and it's different than in the civilian world is a civilian world yeah they can tell you no but you can still do it there's not much repercussion you may have to go and find a new job or or something but in the military if you do or go against let's find a new job may not come as quick because you're gonna get put on restriction get bust down your livelihood all these things are just affected and then you're deploying so I felt like a real adult I felt like I was graduating high school getting out and doing the world um and what a lot of people don't understand and I try to push it um I like I said I made mistakes in the military the military for me joining at the age of 19 but going in at 20 I grew up in the Navy like the things that people go through in high school and college rather um get in trouble doing like they still have normal things but for us in the military you're going to boot camp leaving boot camp you going to um a ship or command whatever you have for so long so I am the things that I should have Learned in my 20s I'm now getting in my 30s so I'm redoing life in a sense but it's been a joy it's been scary I'm back in therapy but I say that with positivity more than anything because it's needed I had to unlearn a lot of things and reteach myself things and then learn myself because I only know me as Jibrian CS one CS two all the like these things I don't know Jibrian as the civilian so I'm learning those things about myself and just leaning into what a good day is and what a bad day is cause you get both and um that's I mean that's life yeah no I I'm happy to hear you're in therapy mostly because I'm a huge advocate for therapy I have never not been in therapy I think since the day I got out I stepped foot in a therapist office just because there's a culture shock of not being in uniform and not being able to just go look up a regulation to make a decision for you and having to like make the decision yourself and it's like can I do this and the answer is like yeah you there's no there's no rule saying that you can't do this we have to be back at a certain time I remember the first time I went to Mexico as a civilian I was like do I gotta tell somebody like do I do I have be back on Monday like what what's going on um yeah that's a yeah I can really yeah I'm like I have a nose ring now and I'm like okay can I wear this and that like all these hair color like it's so there's night and day from it and yeah I'm requesting to go to Vegas because that's out of Dallas so it's like no just go or fly and see what like ah it's different wow yeah I think that's when I see like a like now I mean even when I was getting out folks that were getting out around the same time as me it's you have this like rite of passage into being a civilian where you like dye your hair you get a piercing or you put a tattoo where you couldn't put it before and you have to do like one of those things to really feel like a civilian again to like it's kind of like you're testing the waters with something somewhat extreme but you're like I'm gonna get a note like I when I got my nose piercing I was like well I don't wanna dye my hair I already have tattoos like I'm just gonna go try this and see what happens and then it's like looking around like yeah you know we good I can I go to work on Monday and no one even noticed I was like wow okay that's different like not putting my hair in a bun like the others it's definitely interesting especially when you grow up in the military you don't have any like reference it's like yes baby me and then like military me there's no like adult me um I know that gosh we haven't talked in a while but I know that when last time we talked last time I was in San Diego which it's been a long time since I've been in San Diego other than to go to the airport you had kind of been thinking about some entrepreneurship ventures and you've always been like a phenomenal stylist so I was like we gonna see like what's what's going on with that where you where you at with that that was that is rather not was it's one of the things that with the expectations of that I place on myself um one huge thing I can say to anybody getting out of the military do all those things that you want to do that you thought about doing so do it at your pace do it at your time don't be in a rush to do it because that's what I was I was in a rush to I felt like I was in a rush to do it because of what I wanted I had a need to let people know that I was okay like I had to they had to know I was okay and how else am I okay living in in the city that's so expensive oh I have this going on I have this going on I have this going on all these things I want to do and I'm going to do but it's more of a timing thing for me um so now um I am I pull back a little bit so I can perfect not perfect in a way if I would has to be perfect but perfect my idea of what I want to do and what it looks like in for me so I bought my LLC for my have business Custom Crowns LLC because that's the first thing that I want to do how I want to do it was the I think that I had to fix it was like am I making all of these different hats because I see people with different hats and all these different things like or now I'm in the sense of let me get my one that I want and expound on that so um that's what I'm doing now I'm in the works with doing that creating a logo for it um and then figured out what my first um hat will be color the print the fabric all of that I'm also working on writing a book everyone told me that there is a a lot that I've been through and that not everyone told me I know that I've been through a lot especially in the Navy um and I can go into that a little bit being falsely accused of sexual assault from a person I considered a friend like the best friend of mine like a little brother more than anything just because he didn't want to go on deployment I prior to getting out I'm a chief and I was lied on and ridiculed now I went from being your No. 1 sailor to oh he's a dirtbag and all these things I'm like with it I'm your sale of the year all these things and to that all because someone didn't like me because of my past and how I decided to not let my past dictate where my future goes it was seen as a sign of strength for me but to them is like no well we can't beat him instead of beating let's get him out and not drawing him in this cause I'm willing and I would have been I still am I will teach you or I will show you how I wrote through things like we can't bad is gonna happen embrace it that's what I tried to do and I tried to lean into the good so I'm writing my story and it's not a story to bash the military to bash anyone more so how I internalized this thing is and how I continue to move forward losing my mom right before deployment and deciding to go back to the boat two weeks after because my sailors needed me I've always been a sailor for sailors but that's a part of that in the book will talk about how I chose people over myself whereas I often do that and it's not always wrong but if you don't have anything left within yourself you can't choose people you have to pour into you first or you're pouring from an empty cup you're depleted and they're not getting what they need as well because you feel like you have to be the person to get to them so the book will have all of those different things that everything I've gone through and it's finding strength with the struggle um that's helped me and that's that will be the title of the book if not a chapter in the book it might be the title but I'm trying to I'm working that as well find a strength to the struggle how we have to keep going because when bad things happen life doesn't stop you still have bills to pay you have a life to live and then at the same with me losing my mom she wouldn't want me to be down depressed and not you know fulfilling the things that she sacrificed a lot for me to have these things so moving forward also honored her so but it's not an easy feat um it comes at a cost but that's those are a few other things and then there's some thoughts of a clothing line brand um just I mean I think I dress well but I do it based off of like how I feel and I like to help others feel good you look good you feel good people always say like oh you go to the gym you Matthew too yes I like to you look good you feel good yesterday we had the gym me and my boyfriend and that was the thing like I'm like I mean that's what people say and I mean I do so um clothes have always been my escape especially been in the military when you're being told what to wear how to wear now you're out make your own style your own look everybody has beauty it's how you decide to tap into your beauty and everybody can write a book that book doesn't have to be a literal book it can be a picture something that tells a story podcasting something everybody has a story and I feel like that's a part of it we do our diligence until the world people friends whoever the things that we've gone through and how we've gone through it we move as a society forward that's what we're put on this earth to do a part of you know it's healing for yourself but it's also healing for the next person yeah no I I will say having been in the business world for a while now um you're doing things the right way cause I know like my first couple of years I had a lot of different business ventures that I was wanting to start and I didn't have a really clear cut path and I think you in my opinion I think you gave yourself as much time as you felt you needed to really make that picture a little bit clearer and I'm really excited that you decided to um to move forward with the book cause when we talked about it it was just in like the idea stage and I think you do have a very interesting story to tell because it's a true testament to your willpower because you went through a lot of stuff that was completely people were trying to degrade your character and having been around you and having been around these somewhat interactions that you've had with other people I was like confident in saying that there is a very it's you know dang near impossible that these things happened and that this was a clear attack on your character and you know I think that you getting out was I hope that it has helped you find more happiness and kind of get through that muddy time in the military because you're such a good person and I was so excited when you got out I was like he is going to flourish like I feel like the Navy stifled you a little bit and you were definitely destined for so much more and seeing how they treated you towards the end I was like oh yeah he's gonna do great outside like they they lost a really good person so that's a and in terms of style though dude like I'm from the South Bronx I have no style whatsoever like jeans and a T-shirt and like I had no real idea of what of what that freedom of expression could be cause the only real way I expressed myself was like with tattoos and seeing that you could kind of do the same thing with clothing I didn't really I don't really meet anybody who dressed well until we hung out outside of the outside of the military outside of like service and I was like oh dang he could see us 1 all right all right see us 1 all right like teach me teach me more I definitely Learned a lot I think I in terms of my personal style I think you definitely influenced me a bit not that I dress that much better but I don't dress like a tomboy from New York anymore so there's that but um so okay so you got out your you kind of have like these these things in motion I'm curious how you got into like the hats cause I know you were doing like personal style and like private stylist but um I I remember seeing some pictures I didn't realize that you created those yes so I am the type of person if I don't see what I want I create I will make it I've done like shoes for myself um redesign a blazer um other hats and stuff the hat idea first started with like the Fedora um it was a holiday party and I'm like well I wanna you know be out of the box with it and let me just I couldn't find what I wanted so let me create I went to the fabric store had some jewelry that I really wasn't wearing anymore so I'm like cutting it up and adding to it and I get to the holiday party everybody's like wow where'd you get the head of my I made it like what so yeah I've always been that I want to say artistic it's more of like a it's in my head I guess it's artistic I guess it's artistic but it is yeah there we go um and then I had like the the um snapbacks I love a snapback and my initial was the rose that on my necklace is a rose as well it's for my mom a rose is that flower that we save you know we dry out roses because it keeps the same form so it's my sense my me saying that she still with me in the same form that she was part two and then roses have thorns so when I see a rose you pick up a rose and you go down the stand there are smooth parts there are sticky parts that's life as we go down as we go through like it's gonna be smooth it's gonna be sticky it's gonna hurt um and then it heals and we get through it and then with the beauty that you have with holding this rose and being with this rose so um I wanted to have one of my hats here I don't know where it is but um it's I know rose will be some way incorporated and then rose I'm working on the meaning for me and I don't wanna put out what it means the acronym for rose for me just yet but um it will be out um if it's it's finding that thing that hurt you or that hurt you or um inspires you to keep going and that's that was ahead it's an adding accessory I love accessories when it comes to you know clothing and stuff so it's an advoc accessory and I can have it and walk in triumph as I'm walking through and in pain but I am triumphant in in that process so that's how the hats really came about it was really just supposed to be for me my mind is never like oh I can do this to capitalize it you know monetize this but um someone said to me it's not necessarily just it's not monetizing it's giving someone else hope as well to go cause when I tell them why I tell them the story of it it's not about the money but it's the thing and then money allows me to do that at a broader you know scale to more people reach more people because you know supply demand somebody has something they're gonna want and then they get to hear my story or hear someone else story that was affected by something that they got for me yeah I definitely that's something that I try to teach younger entrepreneurs or newer entrepreneurs is that being like being a service to others and not necessarily chasing the money but doing something that you enjoy to spread a message or to help somebody else through that message that's phenomenal I um I'll have to include some pictures and post of of the hats cause I remember seeing one and I was like that makes sense like your creativity is so natural that I'm not a very creative person in terms of like artistic ability through any means through art through song through poetry through fashion so I always admire people who have that that skill and that talent cause it's um I just I love it I I love it cause I can't do it myself but I appreciate it a little bit more so I'm super excited to see where that goes and I love the concept of a rose um that's yeah that's gonna be awesome I'll have to love to have you back on when things launch cause I'm I'm excited to see see what you uh what you got cause I have to include pictures I'm gonna have to include pictures and post because I think for our listeners if they want to see kind of why I'm kind of at a loss for words with how creative you are you just have to see the pictures I think that would probably do you more justice than anything else but so what what's kind of like the five year plan what's the what do you guys what are you thinking I'm 5 years um I see myself having lunch um the hat business and rolling that into apparel um that goes with it um I my thing when I go working out is running why I like running not necessarily like the feeling of running as I'm doing it cause it's like oh my God I wanna stop but running allows me to free my mind and so many ideas hit me so as I'm running what was this Friday Thursday I'm running and I'm thinking about how to execute these things um and without you even looking at the interview you know thinking about this five year plan was in my mind on it so where I see myself in five years with this business um and a lot of great things are coming I want to do a lunch party I want to have merch I want to have a story ultimately it will be had apparel and book all together because it all makes a story it's a circle every it connects and I mean I'm intentional by things as well but I just think it's a beauty to see um the struggle that I've gone through there the book there's a hat um but I'm making it it it's yeah cause a lot of times we see you know it's kind of like that that that movie that we're watching and it's what we have to wait to part 2 to see I wanna be able to get the fullness of it like there were struggle here there were uh heart uh wrenching moments and then we made it through so it's I see it before five years but within five years definitely there will be a lot of great news and some of it starts at the beginning of the year is my expected start of launching things yeah I look I I'm really excited for this I definitely will need to purchase um whatever you design I I've been slowly getting more into or paying a little bit more attention to how I present myself especially you know going to these events and networking with other entrepreneurs I've come to realize how important it is when you dress and when you know you look good like I know that my I'm pretty confident but I know that my confidence skyrockets when I know that I don't look like a bag of ass like I actually look like I dressed myself and like I think that I'm really looking forward to it I know I've leaned on you a lot for um for some of creative help so I guess it just kind of makes sense so yeah that's gonna be awesome do you see yourself in San Diego do you see yourself in California is this staying here the plan or we international yeah I don't know I am open to all things talk to my boyfriend we were um we just kind of talking around about where we would go move or anything Seattle is open is a possibility um I am a lot I like untapped markets as well there's a lot of untapped market in San Diego when it comes to fashion so launching and starting everything here is great but I don't have to stay here I have this home here but I can sail and move elsewhere so I'm not really sure it just depends on you know how the wind blows and where the sends or takes me hey everybody welcome back to the Doctor V podcast I'm your host Jesse Verga I wanted to let you guys know that I will be starting a new series called path to faith this is going to be my spiritual journey me kind of getting back into a position where I have a closer relationship with God I feel as though I spent a really long time angry at God I've gone through a lot and I think that while I don't think it broke my relationship with God I do think that it halted my journey it halted my spiritual growth and I would like to prioritize that once again I am not I'm not associated with any religious organization or any specific denomination of any particular religion this is simply me reading the Bible reading other holy books and just learning from the scripture I have already started this I have this notebook here which is where I've been keeping my notes and where I've been writing down you know just just quotes and things that that really resonate with me so I have you know quotes from exodus and Genesis and now obviously the Bible is a very it was a very long text so I am not trying to rush it I'm not trying to get through any particular area of scripture just so I can have a podcast episode but I have already started and I wanted to share that journey with all of you guys it will not be hosted on the Doctor Verta podcast it will be on my website Jesse Verda com where you can check out path to faith and you can listen to the episodes there I will kind of talk a little bit about spiritual health in this podcast simply because spiritual health and spiritual wellness is a part of wellness wisdom and warfare and I think it's incredibly important so if you are interested in kind of listening to me go through this journey or maybe you you know you wanna leave a comment for me or maybe I missed something in terms of lessons and things to be learning from the scripture that maybe I've missed or overlooked or maybe that you don't agree with my interpretation of it I would love your feedback again I am doing this alone I do not have a mentor I'm not affiliated with any church or any religious organization so I I'm looking forward to interacting with you as I go through this this journey once again so if you again wanna check it out it's Jesse Verde dot com you can check out path to faith and I will see you there God bless no that's that's great I mean I think that's kind of how I've been leaning lately as I'm just like why why stop here right I got my pilot's license like I'll fly myself where the hell I wanna fly and just you know stay there as long as I wanna stay I think that freedom is a I think in the military we we like the travel but I think we appreciate the freedom of being a civilian a little bit more than the average civilian yes the things that I'm yesterday we woke up and went to a workout class and we didn't have to wake up at a crazy time like our military to do a workout before work you're waking up at 4 5 you know spent it depend on your job so to wake up and go to the gym come back go and walk her dog get coffee and then going to work those things and I said to him I was like those things you wouldn't have not have been able to do in the military on a weekday uh yeah traveling just going without putting in leave uh without requesting either so much I would never met him had I stood in the military maybe maybe we would pass each other but I would do kickball on Sundays with this amazing hell out sports uh team and that's where we met had I'm not getting out of the military I wouldn't have been able to have time to do kickball on Sundays uh huh yeah cause Sunday is the only time you have to yourself cause you got DVD days all these other things so been out of the military though it is scary to get out it is working in a lot of people 13 years and it's like you can only 13 years she just took it 20 was only seven more seven more years they say it as though it's like seven weeks seven days seven months seven years a long time people didn't even do a day so yeah I have really enjoyed your stories and your posts lately you and him look so happy I look I hope I get to meet him and I I was like when I saw those pictures I was like wow like I I don't know if I've ever really seen you just your happiness just kind of like spilling through the photos always like you were enjoying yourself but I'm like that is a that is a good match right there that's yeah I have been in relationships but never one like this and this is the best thing I honestly after losing my mom I didn't think that I would find this type of connection or love with anybody else um and I know it was nothing but sent from above like this it was meant and at the timing so yeah thank you definitely yeah and I can't wait no and he's he's adorable like I was like oh my goodness look how cute he is just flawless face I was like this this man doesn't have a single wrinkle like he just just chiseled out of stone I was like what the heck little jealousy right there I'm need a skincare routine next but no he has one he does have one I was like please have a skincare routine because if that shit's natural he's like oh I just her boyfriend hates her he's like on the weekend she's I wonder what you Brian and hunter are doing he's like what are you doing what are you talking about I was like they're so cute like they're so cute I'm like we are coming you're the cutest couple of kickball um yeah it was just us saying it but now it's like it's it's gotten around and everyone sees it without us even saying so I mean it just you can tell that you guys compliment each other and I think that whether people realize it or not but that can really be seen in a photo and just the way you carry yourself and the things that you're able to do it's like oh I can't do this cause cause he doesn't wanna do this it's like when you find someone that really compliments your life it's so effortless and I think people forget that but I did have another question for you I know um and this is just coming for me because I have recently tapped back into my faith a little bit but how with all the challenges in life and you know losing your mom which I know is extremely difficult how how has your connection to God been like how has your faith been through all of that oh um it was definitely tested um and it has been it has been a roller coaster it's been a roller coaster of emotions to where I want to lean more into but then I was doing it out of what this is what I'm used to whereas I needed to just like um the business uh aspects of and going into what I was doing it out of expectations this I had to step back a little bit and really relearn and I'm learning my relationship with Christ again like getting back into it it was shake it was rocky but then there are moments where I know I wouldn't have made it through anything or this without that and I had to remind myself that my mom isn't hurting she hurt for so long she sacrificed so much um put herself through so much and this is better she has her mansion now she's living and watching us continue on I'm living through her so it was not easy in the beginning um but I'm making it and I'm learning to take it one day at a time and I put that out to others and anyone like it's finding life through cause I used I remember I used to say like if I lose my mom cause she had been sick for so long with my life lose my mom I just don't know if I'll continue and then when that actually happens what do you do my world it just didn't feel real for so long and I'm coming up on three years and it was on my birthday of all days but I look at that as a day of she could have done it before she could have done it after but she wanted she made sure she saw one more birthday with me and she left it was a reminder she's always gonna be with me and I could have taken it in a negative way I was like oh my birthday and this stuff all of these things but no and I remember when it happened everyone was like oh how's he gonna take it it's his birthday in this and I immediately kind of rally everyone like nope at the funeral every year on this day we will celebrate we won't be sad we're gonna live she lives she enjoyed living so we're gonna do it so like this for sure celebrate yeah it's like she was forcing you to celebrate now I think that I I had to ask that only because I I found myself angry with God for a really long time and it really really halted my my like connection I guess with my faith and I just started a series called path to faith where I'm kind of like revisiting the Bible and revisiting teachings and kind of trying to walk that path again after having been angry for so long kind of looking for someone to blame for just what life does and uh it definitely took a it's taken a long time but I I um I tend to ask that question for um for anybody that I have on that I know is is you know of the faith but um yeah no I think that um is a good answer haha biggest part with this for me um make it what you want the expectation piece being what your expectation is and it's like God he is a we have a choice it's not we're not made to follow we have the choice to do so so pulling away doesn't mean that you don't love doesn't mean that you don't believe in it's more of like let me reevaluate how I go about my faith because as we evolve and grow and to these people that we are we go through different parts I said this to one of my cousins yesterday um when we have opportunities and things god is preparing us for the next elevation of our lives this is a part of the evolution like you questioning and not because blind trust and faith yes but also be able to know why you're trusting and why you're believing and not just because oh well people say you need to believe blindly you know blind faith but why do you is it just because of people what you know that he is doing has done for your life so when you question it it's a good and positive thing we question things when it comes to science and we move forward grow and move forward in that way it's the same thing with with God you question why he's big enough to answer it's nothing wrong with doing so yeah thank you for saying that I think that's a really um I didn't think of it like that and I think that's a really good way of of putting it just to walk your own path and not because someone is telling you to walk this path like make the choice for yourself so yeah thank you for saying that that's um that means a lot to me just because I I always not regretted losing my faith but I always felt some type of way about it but I appreciate you saying it like that cause I think that is gonna help move me move forward a little bit anybody who's listening who's ever struggled with their faith I think that is a great way of putting it so yeah I guess um to try it like I guess to wrap things up a little bit do you is there anything that you wanna say to fellow veterans or is there anything you wanna just comment about you know what's to come in terms of your uh your businesses and your book do you have any like last little message for everybody I do for veterans getting out or people transitioning out and veterans that are already out as well do those BDD claims get your set yourself up I know a lot of people felt like oh or feel um I don't wanna get over this line and it's not lying whether these things affect you today or not they will become they will start to affect you and then it's not like urgent care you can't just go in because now you're feeling this thing if you have struggles with depression any mental thing get that document and get seen for it now um it's do your BDD so that the day you get out you're able to get it you're able to be saving you're able to be taken care of because you served I don't care if it was two years 25 whatever you serve and you deserve these things a lot of people think you get all these benefits in the Navy now you get more benefits when you get out um or in the military out of the military as far as business there will be things um underscore just believe with 2 E's at the end I will be posting all the things and then once I get my website um up that will be on that as well as an Instagram for the business um I kind of pulled things down and I'm revamping um so a lot to come in 2025 it is the year of me and hopefully we don't have to deal with um another January 6th day so it doesn't put it a dark shadow over the world yeah no absolutely thanks for uh thanks for that and I definitely recommend for military whether you plan on getting out or not go to medical get that get that stuff documented I think someone told me that early on and that's what I did and it made my transition out and my claims a lot easier because there was documentation and then I will leave links on the screen and post and I'll put some in the in the description and on my website for your social media so people can follow this journey cause I really looking forward to it and I'm really glad we had the opportunity to to connect and to have you on here I'm I'm really happy that I was able to um to get you cause I know that you're busy and I was like I need to make sure that I have you on here um but with that I am going to end the recording